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Armchair Martian is:
Guitar/Vocals - Jon Snodgrass
Drums - Paul Rucker
Bass - Miguel
The story of Armchair Martian began over a quarter of a century ago somewhere near St. Joseph, Missouri, in a small town referred to only as "Gnarlytown", where Jon Snodgrass was born in a barn. Jon was born an only child, but had seven cousins, who also lived on Grandpa's farm. Because of Jon's rather poor vision, he couldn't work, so he was often left alone with nothing but Grandpa's country records, a television, which he loved dearly, and a freezer full of TV dinners. Some say too much time alone watching daytime TV shows, Hank Williams and TV dinners would be bad for a child, but most admirers of Armchair Martian would argue that it is what turned Jon into the creative genius he is. Concerned by Jon's dedication to frozen food and the television, but inspired by his love for country music, his mother bought him a shiny red Roy Rogers guitar. After school and between commercials, Jon would stare at the TV and play country songs...but they never seemed to come out right. Never the less, he loved that guitar and he played it every commercial break. One night, as he headed downstairs to the microwave for a midnight snack, he slipped on a seven inch, fell down the stairs and knocked himself unconscious, broke the neck of his precious guitar, and changed the history of rock and roll. When he regained consciousness and put his glasses back on, he found his guitar broken. He was devastated. In desperation, he duck taped the neck back on and gave it a strum, only to find it out of tune. Having hit his head really hard, distorting his hearing, Jon loved what he heard. Thus the off-key distorted sound of a broken guitar that has become Armchair Martian was born.
As a teenager, Jon got his first electric guitar, smashed it, duck taped it back together and then started a band. The only other musician he knew was a midget named Chad. Chad also had a guitar, but his midget fingers were so little that he couldn't reach all five strings...so he made it only have four. Those midget fingers melded perfectly with Jon's off-key wailing, so they decided to call their futuristic country project The Doctor Monkey Experience. Their first recordings were made through the TV and onto a boom box. Unfortunately, The Doctor Monkey Experience died an early death, as Chad and Jon found themselves torn apart by their love for the same woman. Jon found his heart broken as Chad the midget stole his girl. There and then, Jon decided to head for the high plains of Colorado.
Ft. Collins, Colorado is where we find the hard hitting, lady killing, and ruckus rousing Paul Rucker. When Paul was only a wee little boy his mother saw that he had quite a knack for breaking things. Thus, she put drumsticks in his hands in hopes of channeling his quiet aggressive energy. He began playing the drums at four, so by the time he reached junior High he had become one of the most reputable jazz drummers in the western US. In seventh grade, Paul was disqualified from the Colorado drumming championships for hitting his drums too hard and twirling has sticks too much. He gave the finger to the judges and took up the fine art of heavy metal. From that day forward Paul dedicated his life to hitting the drums really hard and doing as many cool tricks with his sticks as possible. Did I mention the ladies? Well, I guess I won't.
The two magically convened in Fort Collins in the early '90s, where they still reside on break from their rigorous tour schedule. There have been a number of bass players since the band formed. For the first record it was a guy named Steve who never sweats, drinks or goes to the barber, but left the band to join the Army. Then lady stealing Little Chad came back and played bass for awhile, and recorded some songs, but when Jon refused to change the name back to The Doctor Monkey Experience, Little Chad stole his current girlfriend and went back to Gnarlytown, where he drinks happily today. After Little Chad came Big Chad. Big Chad played for a while, but he is a big rockstar and was only playing in Armchair to remind himself what it was like to play in a band where no one knows who you are. Currently, Big Chad has gone back to getting panties thrown at him, because everyone knows who he is. Adam Ant tried out for the band after that, and was pretty much the one they were looking for, until he saw the touring van. After Adam came a guy named Whitey, who they got rid of in no time, because he refused to drive drunk. Finally, the trio is complete with the addition of Miguel Horatio Pinkero, a South American swinger with a taste for the finer things in life. He lives in Paraguay, which makes it really hard to practice, but they don't do much of that anyway.